Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Schadenfreude is the Word of the Day.

You should look it up, I think that it defines my life. So this has been a bit of a barren wasteland free from my mediocre writing, and it's time that changes. During my "fuck off weeks" I went back to the homeland and decided to not totally fuck off and do a bit more writing. We were supposed to write a speech that a probable character could give. So I wrote two. 

Its something that, for those without certain diseases is a part of our every day life. Some people see food as something terrible, something that will make you fat and there for undesirable. I see food as a whole different world to explore. I rarely put something in my mouth without judging it as thoroughly as the young children on toddlers in tiaras are judged. The only difference is what I'm about to eat won't have traumatic nightmares for the rest of its life, it is already dead.

Some healthy people judge their food in a chemical way. How many calories? How many grams of fat? How many of those grams are saturated fats? How much sodium? How many hours on a treadmill will I need to work this off?


When I judge my food, it is very different. How will this taste? What's the texture? How much of this is pure meat, or melted cheese(two of my favourite food types) How messy will this be to eat? Will I offend who ever has made it by dousing it in salt? And finally, how much of a pig will I look like for eating this food, massive portion or not.


So many have fallen out of love with food in our body obsessed world. Sure, obesity is an epidemic, diabetes are on the rise, fat is death etc. We should fall back in love with food. Its what makes us live. Eventually we will all die. But what is an extra 3-5 years of life if you never get to try a massive steak and potatoes with real butter. A cheese plate the size of your head? Desserts that take years to perfect and hours to make and only minutes to eat?


Years ago, larger people were considered beautiful and desirable on both men and women. This was because it meant you could afford full fat on your meats, butter on your crusty breads, wine and beer in your belly. Things have changed now. We have cut the fat and in my opinion the fun out of our eating habits. Sure we can make healthy food look appealing, and even make some of that food taste delicious. There is nothing wrong with healthy food, but if your not excited to eat, if you can't visualise what your eating ahead of time, if your mouth has not watered in weeks, you need to go out and eat something you love. Not shovelling in food without thinking about how much time has gone into the preparation, the ingredients and how it will  taste, but savouring every bite as though it was your last. Pigging out once in a while. Trying to eat at least one thing you can savour every day. 

If you couldn't gather, that was about food. I know that the grammar isn't spot on, but when you read it out loud it makes sense. I think. I've had a lot of Guiness today. It's St. Pattys day. Stop judging. Read another one.

What can I say? He had won me over immediately. Some say it was a meeting of chance, I say It was fate. Growing up I had always believed in true love. I have now had 4 true loves, or so I thought. First there was Paul. We were 6 and had a quick wedding during lunch one day in the early spring, he gave me a ring pop. Needless to say, the relationship lasted just about as long as my blue tongue from the ring pop lasted. You know kids though, hitching up, playing house, stealing hearts, slinging sand and mud at each other.  All in a day of a kindergartner.


My second love was a little more sophisticated. I was 13. I thought I knew it all, and Randy, a whole year and a half older than I, really knew everything. He was tall had dark hair and boy, was he handsome. He was one of the first boys at my school to hit puberty, and myself being abnormally tall, we went hand in hand. Or face to face as it so turned out. Randy sure lived up to his name. People still tell me that it was just lust, but I was positive we were going to be forever. It all ended when he met that Darcy girl in detention. If only I had vandalized the school with him instead of going home to make dinner, we may still be together.


My third love was Robert.  He was an absolute dream. I had just entered university in family studies and could you believe it, he was the only boy in my class! He was a fantastic dresser who came from a good family. He was smart, kind funny, knew all about different types of foods and wines and theater. I truly truly believed that we were going to be together forever. I could not have found a more perfect person to get married to, have kids with and grow old with, even if I had made him up. I had just over looked one teensy tiny fact. He loved me to death, and all of my friends could never understand it. I was a nice enough looking girl, but most guys would have rather gone out with my friends, I mean they were all perfect 10s. Then at least. When we broke up, he introduced me to the other woman. His name was Gerald.


Then finally there was Fox. He is the man for me. He is smart, funny, and an amazing writer. He has a stable job, and he has already bought a house! He has a plan for life. Were only in our mid twenties but he has an rrsp account, and is ready to marry me. We met in the most peculiar way as well  I now make a living as a film reviewer, and I got sent to a film festival in Dubai. Since it was so far, the paper only offered me one ticket so I went alone. In the press room, everyone knew each other except my self and Fox. He was such a gentleman as well, he asked what I thought of the film, bought me drinks and walked me home. We made a date to have dinner the next night. We talked and talked and talk for hours, and even though he lived in LA and I in New York, he kept getting business in New York and eventually got offered a transfer. Although the job didn’t pay as much, he took it to become closer to me! Last week he popped the question in Central Park. And I said yes! I truly do believe that this will be the man I love for the rest of my life.

I am going to go back to waiting for my flight now.