Monday, February 16, 2009

The start was shaky.

So we were supposed to do the seemingly easy task of describing our noses. I finished mine early and started reading it to the class, which was a terrible idea. This is the first draft which was written in the span of around 10 minutes. 

I have an unfortunate nose. At one time it was absolutely lovely, but then it was broken. Twice. Both of the breaks were personal and 'unmentionable'. 

It has two bumps on the bridge, which look like a downhill ski jump. After the second time it was broken and reset, a good friend (whom I later ended up dating) ran his finger down the bridge, imagining that his finger was a sled and my nose a fantastically fun tobogganing hill. It has forever made me self conscious of my nose.

My nostrils, surprisingly, still flare, which I have inherited from my dad. Every time I start to laugh or snicker or become sarcastic in a way where I find myself funny, my mother (if she is around) will start cracking up. Mostly because it and my equally unfortunate nails are the only family resemblance I cary. (it may also be that I look like a goon when my nostrils flare) 

My nose gets runny all of the time, which leads to rashes from tissues, making me a real life Rudolph. 

Like the rest of my body, my nose gets covered in freckles. In the summer time, or any time UV rays are close to my face, my nose breaks out into hundreds of small brown/orange freckles like a kid with a peanut allergy, (after eating that odd resses peanut butter cup far after their parents have gone to sleep) breaks out into thick puss filled hives before running for their EPI pen. Sadly, in lieu of an EPI pen, I have to wait for the long season of sun to pass, when all the sunscreen in the city has been bought and empty sunscreen bottles litter the floor of my empty apartment. 

It's the middle of my face. 

Clearly, it was crap. My proff. seemed to think so as well. She seemed to like the "noses" that were massive metaphors, so that was my second draft. 

Downhill on an Uphill Incline
This ski hill is unlike any other ski hill known to man. Unlike the Kitzbuhel in Austria or the Zermatt in Switzerland, which will forever stay in their places, this hill moves on a daily basis. It has seen the world through the eyes of the hill marshal who follows wherever the hill goes. This hill seems to have frequent avalanches whether it be the summer or winter. During the warmer seasons some of the snow melts away to reveal circular patches of the brown red dirt that shows through. Thankfully, without fail, every winter the white pale snow returns. Just like any of the best ski hills, there are moguls. This particular hill has two permanent moguls down the main run due to two severe earthquakes. The hill marshal fell hard because of these quakes, but picked her self back up to dig through the rubble. Although this hill is constantly on the move, two globe like spheres that seem to change colour with their surroundings are forever in attendance to the hill. From when the sun rises until when the lights on the night hill are turned off, the hill marshal and the rapt globes are always there. 

Bare with me, it gets better. 


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